I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
