He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
