We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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