It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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