You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
