Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
