are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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