every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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