His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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