I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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