when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
