i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
