he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
