He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
