You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
