she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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