ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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