Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize