yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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