Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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