I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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