are you still at the devil's house?
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
