when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
