My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
