im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
