In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she peed on how many people?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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