and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
