He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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