what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
