That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is it penis luge time yet?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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