I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
