I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
