Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
