puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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