Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
