Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
