Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
