we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
