So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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