Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
