question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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