Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
