he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
