She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
