Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize