did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
