That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
