We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
