You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize