Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
