Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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