Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize