yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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