I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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