I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
