Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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